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Pigeons Launch Shit Storm; Kings of Leon Walk Off Stage

24 July 2010 No Comment

Commentary by Jeff Longo

Yep, you read that right. The Kings of Leon stunned a capacity crowd when they walked off the stage after playing only three songs (see below for the official press release). I’ve got to say, really? I mean, really? I am laughing my ass off. You have got to be kidding me.

OK, so I get it. I understand its disgusting; a flock of pigeons kicking it up in the rafters; dropping their shit-bombs. Yes, the venue should take care of it, but to walk off stage and leave? There was no other alternative? Have you ever heard of the expression ‘The show must go on?’

If a bird shits on you, move! If you can’t move then have someone hold an umbrella over you or something, but don’t be a pussy. You don’t leave a capacity crowd that paid good money to hear your shitty music unless it’s an emergency. PERIOD. Well, unless it was a real shit storm, then all bets are off. In a real shit storm the only objective is survival. But there wasn’t a real shit storm in St Louis was there? No.

Kings of Leon only see shit, I see opportunity. Imagine if Caleb (lead vocalist) got on the mic and explained “they just can’t handle it anymore getting shit on and all, and would you mind if they took 10 mins so they can put an acoustic rig down in the front row where birds aren’t shitting on us and make the best of it, what do you think?” Hey, couple of guitars and some mics, AT LEAST, even if it’s for one song. Whatever; take a look in the mirror. Looks like the pigeons weren’t the only ones shitting on people in St Louis.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

PIGEON INFESTATION FORCES KINGS OF LEON OFFSTAGE EARLY IN ST. LOUIS

An infestation of pigeons living in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre in St. Louis, MO, forced the Kings of Leon to walk offstage after three songs last night. Even though opening bands The Postelles and The Stills came offstage complaining of getting riddled with large amounts of pigeon excrement, the Kings of Leon decided to carry on regardless. The band felt it would be unfair to the fans to cancel the show at that late moment.

“I’m surprised they stayed on for as many songs as they did,” said Andy Mendelsohn of Vector Management. “Jared was hit several times during the first two songs. On the third song, when he was hit in the cheek and some of it landed near his mouth, they couldn’t deal any longer. It’s not only disgusting — it’s a toxic health hazard. They really tried to hang in there. We want to apologize to our fans in St. Louis and will come back as soon as we can.”

When the band arrived earlier in the day, the venue warned management that there had been a significant pigeon infestation problem with summer shows over the years, but they were doing all they could to fix it.

“We couldn’t believe what The Postelles and The Stills looked like after their sets,” said Jared Followill. “We didn’t want to cancel the show, so we went for it. We tried to play. It was ridiculous.”

Kings of Leon are headed to Chicago tonight to perform at the First Midwest Bank Amphitheatre as scheduled.

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